A Letter To My Unborn Child

People often ask when I want to have another child and I tell them “Not for a while” because I am hoping that in a couple of years I might be ready, but the truth is I might not ever be ready.
Having Ivy has changed me, I have loved like never before, and I can’t imagine how I could love anyone else the same. Although everyone tells me I will.
I always thought I wanted to have 2 children. I want Ivy to be a big sister but I never realised I might have these feelings of nervousness and fear.
Right now life feels complete, life is easy and we have a good routine going. I love being a mum, we have fun and I can handle it. Don’t get me wrong, there are hard days, some days where the little miss drives me a bit crazy. But as I said, I can handle it.
I see new, little babies around and they’re adorable. It reminds me of when Ivy was tiny, fresh and so so cute but it also reminds me of how hard it can be. Sleepless nights (which we still have sometimes), the crazy hormones that come for the first few months after birth and are out of control, a dependent, helpless little human who wants to feed every hour or two with engorged boobs and sore nipples!
Ivy is growing up now and doesn’t need me for absolutely everything anymore. She can feed herself, entertain herself, we can comunicate well, I’m beginning to wean and we’re even starting to talk about toilet training in the near future. I like this stage of life and worry about doing it all over again. I don’t know how I will handle it with another child in tow.

I know we’re not done. I imagine our life with another little munchkin running around and I definitely want Ivy to have a brother or sister, just not yet. I might also add that Ivy should not be an only child. That, in the end, would probably be harder to deal with than having two babies for a few years… anyway…
This is what I want to say to my second (unborn) child:

Though you have not yet been conceived and right now the thought of you scares me
There will probably be nervous thoughts when we find out you are coming but I promise to love you.
I look forward to feeling you grow in my tummy, to feel your kicks and wiggles.
There will be tears of joy the day we first get to see you on an ultrasound screen, to see that you are real.
The day you enter the world and I see you for the first time, trace your face, feel your hand wrap around my finger, hold you and feed you, we will bond like a mother and child do.
Please be patient with me, I imagine the adjustment might be a bit hard to begin with but we will find our rhythm together.
I look forward to seeing how different you might be from your sister, to have the chance to raise another individual who will teach me new things and show me new ways of patients, love and joy.
I hope to be a wonderful mother, just forgive me for when I am tired and cranky, know that I love you.
You’re going to be the perfect addition to our family and I look forward to meeting you one day.
xoxo

Crumbs In My Cleavage

I’m not a very voluptuous lady, at all. And I’m not very ‘breasty’ BUT I still have this daily issue of crumbs in my cleavage. I’m hoping I am not alone in this.

Now usually I will just pick it out quickly and eat whatever it is that dropped down there but sometimes that’s not possible. Chocolate for instance. That stuff melts, fast! Then you just have smeared/melted chocolate everywhere. There is also the issue of what to do in public? Is it acceptable to go fishing around your bra for that dropped crumb? Maybe not totally acceptable but what if it’s a sharp crumb off a cracker, that is going to get uncomfortable! Or what if it’s something that is going to start letting off a stench… 
Men will probably never understand this issue, well I hope not. They shouldn’t be wearing bra’s. Just one of the many things that men will never understand about being a woman…

There have been numerous occasions that someone (usually a male) has thrown food in my general direction and somehow it ends up down my top/in my cleavage. They have shocked faces and this reaction of “OMG! Did you just see that? How awesome was that?!”. Sorry but that wasn’t a fluke. Happens all the time. My bra is basically a magnet for food. Maybe I need to consider turtle necks?
You cannot avoid it while at the cinema. It’s dark, you’re not totally concentrating on what you’re doing. I generally end up with a meals worth of droppings in my bra. How not great would that be at the end of a date? Get home from the movies, have a little make out sesh, he gets a little handsy and then, “Whoa! What the heck is this sticky stuff?…” Safe to stay that’s the end of that!
Sometimes I won’t even realize I’ve dropped anything down there until that night when I take off my bra before bed. It’s like, “Oh, I was wondering where the other half of that cheeseburger went. Score!”

Hairy Armpits

A couple of days ago, after my shower, I was putting my hair up in a bun and only had a singlet on so out of the corner of my eye I see some darkness. I had to do a double take, I could not believe what I was seeing… I thought to myself, “When was the last time I shaved?!” I could not for the life of me remember when that was. GROSS! So so gross!
Bubba and I have both been unwell so it had simply slipped my mind. Taking a shower was mission enough.
It got me thinking about just how much I have changed and how my priorities have changed since becoming a mum and I totally don’t mind one bit.

Before I was a mother I was a ‘shave once a day’ kinda girl (yes yes I know you shouldn’t do it that often). I couldn’t bare the thought of there being even a little bit of growth. When I was pregnant this changed because my skin wasn’t handling it anymore… not sure if this was the pregnancy making my skin more sensitive or my skin simply saying, “I have had enough! Give me a break!” but it became an ‘every second day or so’ thing. THEN when I had bubba and showers became something that needed to be rushed, things like shaving would get missed sometimes. I would go many days without shaving but this has to be a record… I’m thinking maybe 2 weeks or more? Honestly cannot remember.
I don’t even want to think about my legs or anywhere else for that matter (sorry hubby!!!).
Good thing it’s winter here in Australia, so I’m wearing my jeans or tights every day and my swimmers have been pushed to the back of the draw. I must mention that I am also very lucky in the fact that I have very very fair hair so most of the time you can’t really tell but still…

I’m quite sure I am not the only girl out there who has missed her shaving days… right?!