Babies don’t ‘sleep like a baby’

That saying ‘slept like a baby’… I’m calling B.S.
Who came up with that? Babies don’t sleep well. They sleep a lot yes, but not well.

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(And to prove my point… here is a picture of Ivy playing in her cot while she was meant to be napping)

I’m going to contradict myself a little here but IVY IS SLEEPING THROUGH THE NIGHT!
Ah, massive sigh of relief! It’s only taken us 18 months to get here and she’s technically not a ‘baby’ anymore but rather a ‘toddler’, so I guess my title still stands true ūüôā

For any expecting parent who has been told the first couple of months are hard but not to worry because they should start sleeping through the night after that. Please, do not listen to them. (And if you’re one of those people who had a baby like that… please stop telling everyone else!) I listened, and for a long period of time that advice made me feel like a failure and made me feel angry/resentful towards my baby who didn’t just not sleep through but slept terribly!
Everyone complains about being so tired and having ‘bad nights’ but go on to pretend their kid sleeps through, for what ever reason? Probably the whole, my kid is better than your kid thing…
It wasn’t until Ivy was around 6 months old that I had a conversation with a fellow mother who went on to tell me how her son (of a similar age) didn’t sleep through the night. All of a sudden I didn’t feel so crap anymore and knew I wasn’t alone. After just that one conversation, I started admitting to others that Ivy didn’t sleep through and once I started, mostly all of my other mummy friends agreed that their child didn’t either… What’s with the secrecy???

Given that so many had told me this little piece of ‘advice’ but yet at 3 months Ivy still was not sleeping through, I resorted to trying out some different ‘sleep training’ techniques. All of which made both myself and Ivy much more upset, even more tired and even more cranky! <<< this topic could be a whole other post in itself so I’ll try to be brief here…
I hated it. Everyone kept telling me different thing I should be trying because she ‘should’ be sleeping through by now. Which I later on found out is not true, especially for an exclusively breastfed baby. They typically don’t sleep through for a long while. It was a few months of torture for our whole family and I regret ever doing any of it. Now all babies are different and sometimes these things work, but I beg you not to try any type of sleep training or technique unless you are 100% comfortable with it. Don’t give in to the pressure of family or friends who tell you that you need to. Some babies like and need more cuddles than others, and thats more than okay! Enjoy it because I hear it doesn’t last forever.

It wasn’t until I gave up the idea of a good night sleep and decided to just roll with it, (knowing EVENTUALLY, in the probably far distant future, she would sleep through) that I started to make the nights work, relaxed into it and got used to waking up a few times each night. My body adjusted, because I wasn’t fighting it anymore. Ivy was happier because we weren’t constantly trying all these stupid ‘sleep training’ methods and we were happier.

I am simply writing this post to give future parents the heads up and to tell all the other parents who have a horrible sleeping child, you are not alone! One day it will get better and one day you will get sleep ūüôā

xx

A natural way to clear skin!

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Since hitting puberty 10+ yrs ago, I’ve struggled with spots. It’s been very up and down but definitely hormone related. My skin was near perfect while pregnant but has gone down the pooper since having Ivy. I’ve tried many, many different products but nothing has made much of a difference and some have even made it worse.

Around one month ago my mum sent me a link to a website with numerous skin care products specifically for people with acne and breakouts, then I came across a face scrub with wonderful reviews. I was skeptical, after trying so many different products and spending so much money on these things that claimed to do magic, but they didn’t work!
I figured it wasn’t too expensive, so I thought I would give it a go anyway, and ordered it.

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I know it has only been a month but keep in mind I was having weekly breakouts. Every day I would wake and see another spot or two coming out of the woodworks…
It has been a month and I’ve only had a few little spots. No breakouts. I can totally handle that!! I’ll have to give it a few months to really see how good it is and I’m expecting to still get spots here and there. As like I said before, it’s a hormonal issue and I think that’s really only something that will completely go away with age.
I wish I had of taken a before and after shot, but I didn’t. Firstly because until now I would never reveal my bare skin to anyone! Secondly, I figured the chances of something finally working was slim to none. But oh how wrong was I…
Now I need to get rid of my red marks but this seems to helping with those too!

What I really love about this scrub is that it has absolutely NO nasties, some great certified organic ingredients and as my sister-in-law said, it’s nearly good enough to spread on toast ūüėČ
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http://www.nourishedlife.com.au/skincare-exfoliate/7763/honey-sugar-exfoliator.html
If you want to give it a go, there’s the link ^^^
Everyone’s skin is different, what works for me may not work for you but if you’re like me and nothing has been working, it’s worth a try!! At the very least it will leave your skin feeling lovely and soft xx

A Letter To My Unborn Child

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People often ask when I want to have another child and I tell them “Not for a while” because I am hoping that in a couple of years I might be ready, but the truth is I might not ever be ready.
Having Ivy has changed me, I have loved like never before, and I can’t imagine how I could love anyone else the same. Although everyone tells me I will.
I always thought I wanted to have 2 children. I want Ivy to be a big sister but I never realised I might have these feelings of nervousness and fear.
Right now life feels complete, life is easy and we have a good routine going. I love being a mum, we have fun and I can handle it. Don’t get me wrong, there are hard days, some days where the little miss drives me a bit crazy. But as I said, I can handle it.
I see new, little babies around and they’re adorable. It reminds me of when Ivy was tiny, fresh and so so cute but it also reminds me of how hard it can be. Sleepless nights (which we still have sometimes), the crazy hormones that come for the first few months after birth and are out of control, a dependent, helpless little human who wants to feed every hour or two with engorged boobs and sore nipples!
Ivy is growing up now and doesn’t need me for absolutely everything anymore. She can feed herself, entertain herself, we can comunicate well, I’m¬†beginning¬†to wean and we’re even starting to talk about toilet training in the near future. I like this stage of life and worry about doing it all over again. I don’t know how I will handle it with another child in tow.

I know we’re not done. I imagine our life with another little munchkin running around and I definitely want Ivy to have a brother or sister, just not yet. I might also add that Ivy should not be an only child. That, in the end, would probably be harder to deal with than having two babies for a few years… anyway…
This is what I want to say to my second (unborn) child:

Though you have not yet been conceived and right now the thought of you scares me
There will probably be nervous thoughts when we find out you are coming but I promise to love you.
I look forward to feeling you grow in my tummy, to feel your kicks and wiggles.
There will be tears of joy the day we first get to see you on an ultrasound screen, to see that you are real.
The day you enter the world and I see you for the first time, trace your face, feel your hand wrap around my finger, hold you and feed you, we will bond like a mother and child do.
Please be patient with me, I imagine the adjustment might be a bit hard to begin with but we will find our rhythm together.
I look forward to seeing how different you might be from your sister, to have the chance to raise another individual who will teach me new things and show me new ways of patients, love and joy.
I hope to be a wonderful mother, just forgive me for when I am tired and cranky, know that I love you.
You’re going to be the perfect addition to our family and I look forward to meeting you one day.
xoxo

Awkward Silences

I cannot handle awkward silences. I would rather endure hours of conversation about the weather, video games or politics than sit in silence. I’m almost as awkward in silence as I am when someone starts crying…

There are few people in my life that I am okay sitting in silence with. Very few. Even some friends that I have had for years and I would consider ‘close friends’, I still feel¬†extremely¬†uncomfortable when there is nothing to say.
The worst is when I can see it on their face too. They’re looking at¬†me and I can see the frantic searching on their face. Searching for something to say, a topic to talk about… anything! Other people are probably usually fine with a bit of silence. Not me. No. I get awkward, I make them feel awkward, it gets awkward. Then we are stuck in this moment of¬†feeling like being anywhere else but with each other when we’re both pulling blanks on what to talk about.

I was terrible at dating for this very reason. The day I got married was the best day of my life for more reasons than just the usual. I knew that I wouldn’t have to worry or deal with my horrible dating awkwardness anymore. I didn’t really rate a date based upon ‘sparks’ or ‘chemistry’. Well not the first date anyway. It was all about how well the conversation went and/or his conversation skills. I didn’t need any of this romantic crap to sweep me off my feet. No fancy restaurant or bunch of flowers. If he was able to fix an awkward silence by coming up with something incredibly interesting to talk about or distract me with a witty¬†comment, he was in. I had many first dates that never turned into anything more because of this, even though it is probably a very normal thing to happen when you’re first getting to know someone, my awkwardness couldn’t handle it.¬†

Unfortunately, the awkward dating wasn’t over for me though. Since becoming a mum I have had to start ‘dating’ other mums because once you’re a mum, you need other mum friends… it’s¬†imperative¬†to your sanity to have someone else who completely understands, and although I already had some mummy friends, I didn’t have many. Well at least not many that I was close enough with to be able to discuss things like baby bowel movements, lack of sleep, engorged boobs, leaking boobs, returning of periods etc. etc.
So the dating began again, and thank goodness babies are fantastic ice-breakers!! If things got quiet or awkward, I could just direct the attention onto Ivy. And if that didn’t work, babies are also a great reason to leave early. Thank-you Ivy!

Crumbs In My Cleavage

I’m not a very voluptuous¬†lady, at all. And I’m not very ‘breasty’ BUT I still have this daily issue of crumbs in my cleavage.¬†I’m hoping I am not alone in this.

Now usually I will just pick it out quickly and eat whatever it is that dropped down there but sometimes that’s not possible. Chocolate for instance. That stuff melts, fast! Then you just have smeared/melted chocolate everywhere. There is also the issue of what to do in public? Is it acceptable to go fishing around your bra for that dropped crumb? Maybe not totally acceptable but what if it’s a sharp crumb off a cracker, that is going to get uncomfortable! Or what if it’s something that is going to start letting off a stench…¬†
Men will probably never understand this issue, well I hope not. They shouldn’t be wearing bra’s. Just one of the many things that men will never understand about being a woman…

There have been numerous occasions¬†that someone (usually a male) has thrown food in my general direction and somehow it ends up down my top/in my cleavage. They have shocked faces and this reaction of “OMG! Did you just see that? How awesome was that?!”. Sorry but that wasn’t a fluke. Happens all the time. My bra is basically a magnet for food. Maybe I need to consider turtle necks?
You cannot avoid it while at the cinema. It’s dark, you’re not totally concentrating on what you’re doing. I generally end up with a meals worth of droppings in my bra. How not great would that be at the end of a date? Get home from the movies, have a little make out sesh, he gets a little handsy and then, “Whoa! What the heck is this sticky stuff?…” Safe to stay that’s the end of that!
Sometimes I won’t even realize I’ve dropped anything down there until that night when I take off my bra before bed. It’s like, “Oh, I was wondering where the other half of that cheeseburger went. Score!”

{Fructose Free} Chocolate Chia Seed Pudding

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So I’ve had these organic chia seeds sitting in my pantry for months now! Bought them knowing that they’re meant to be wonderfully healthy and filling yet I had no idea what I was going to use them in… Since my recent change in diet (no wheat, yeast or dairy) my food has been limited and I’m getting kinda bored. This morning I was too lazy to cook anything so I was rummaging through the pantry when I came across the chia seeds!! Looked up some recipes to get an idea for how these things work then whipped up this really quick, easy and delicious pudding! Takes around 30mins of prep and 2hrs setting time (so no, I didn’t end up eating it for breakfast but rather morning tea).

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Ingredients:

2tbs Cocoa powder
1tsp instant coffee (optional. I made one with for me and one without for bubba)
1/4 cup Chia Seeds
2bs Rice malt syrup
1 cup coconut milk (or any other milk you desire)

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Steps:

Stir together the cocoa powder, coffee and chia seeds. Then fold through the rice malt syrup as best as possible. Once combined add the milk and whisk. Keep stirring until everything is combined, then continue to stir every 5 minutes for around 20 minutes (until the chia seeds have expanded enough that everything no longer separates). Refrigerate for 2hrs.
Enjoy!!

So delicious but no reason to feel guilty. Chocolate pudding for breakfast? Yes please!
Kiddies love it too. Here’s my little one enjoy her’s earlier today…
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hAngry

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I’m sure many of us have seen the “I’m sorry for what I said when I was hungry” meme…

Now my husband knows all too well that I get very irritable, cranky, moody and angry when I don’t eat. Heck most of my friends know this! But for some reason he (and I) still let it happen sometimes and I do not know why?! We should always have a packet of nuts or a piece of fruit on hand for¬†emergencies.
Recently (due to health reasons) I have temporarily changed my diet. No wheat, yeast or dairy. It is very hard, actually quite hellish. I already have a mainly sugar free diet and I’m a very picky person, so right now there is not a lot of things I can or will eat, but that’s okay because I know it is only for a time. But this has made for a few of these hangry incidents lately…

Bit of info for everyone out there who have not¬†experienced the hangry feeling/emotion/disease.¬†People who get hangry often are usually huge lovers of FOOD! You know you’re someone who suffers from hangriness when you do things like:

– filling up on those yummy little warm bread rolls with butter (or the delicious sizzler bread!! OMG!) before your meal arrives because you’re so hungry but yet still feel angry because you have now ruined your meal
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– when you get to the point of being hangry you will settle for pretty much anything as long as it doesn’t take time to prep or much effort to get, even if that means eating those questionable leftovers from last week or straight up spoonfuls of condiments. You don’t have time to wait for something to cook… no no. Just eat stuff straight out of the jar!
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– you’ve started hating on the waitress for not bring you your food straight away and loath everyone else in the restaurant who already have their meal
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– you have taken out your hangriness on your partner or friend even though they have done nothing
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The worst time for this problem of mine was when I was pregnant. My oh my… think 9 months pregnant, very hormonal and very hungry. One of my husbands friends (at this certain point in time I wouldn’t of been calling him MY friend) picked a place for us to ‘eat’ for lunch. We arrive and guess what, it was just a small coffee shop. Pretty much JUST coffee. Oh my goodness, I was not happy. I had already made it oh so very clear that I was hungry and wanted, no no, NEEDED to eat NOW! This little place was in the city so we had already spent too much time looking for a park, then walking to said place. So I sat, very quietly, fuming on the inside while all my little hipster, coffee drinking friends, drank their coffee until we could finally leave and get some well needed nourishment.

As soon as I had food in my belly I was happy! I couldn’t understand why this was such a hard task. Feed me THEN we can continue on with life. Happy wife, happy life indeed. So men, partners, husbands, if I can give you just one little simple tip… keep your woman well fed (especially when pregnant!).

It IS very much a real thing. It’s scientific, they have done studies!! So next time you become unjustifiably angry or irritable, consider a snack.

Hairy Armpits

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A couple of days ago, after my shower, I was putting my hair up in a bun and only had a singlet on so out of the corner of my eye I see some darkness. I had to do a double take, I could not believe what I was seeing… I thought to myself, “When was the last time I shaved?!” I could not for the life of me remember when that was. GROSS! So so gross!
Bubba and I have both been unwell so it had simply slipped my mind. Taking a shower was mission enough.
It got me thinking about just how much I have changed and how my priorities have changed since becoming a mum and I totally don’t mind one bit.

Before I was a mother I was a ‘shave once a day’ kinda girl (yes yes I know you shouldn’t do it that often). I couldn’t bare the thought of there being even a little bit of growth. When I was pregnant this changed because my skin wasn’t handling it anymore… not sure if this was the pregnancy making my skin more sensitive or my skin simply saying, “I have had enough! Give me a break!” but it became an ‘every second day or so’ thing. THEN when I had bubba and showers became something that needed to be rushed, things like shaving would get missed sometimes. I would go many days without shaving but this has to be a record… I’m thinking maybe 2 weeks or more? Honestly cannot remember.
I don’t even want to think about my legs or anywhere else for that matter (sorry hubby!!!).
Good thing it’s winter here in Australia, so I’m wearing my jeans or tights every day and my swimmers have been pushed to the back of the draw. I must mention that I am also very lucky in the fact that I have very very fair hair so most of the time you can’t really tell but still…

I’m quite sure I am not the only girl out there who has missed her shaving days… right?!

Bloody ‘Crunchy Mumma’s’

So the new craze going around at the moment seems to be this ‘crunchy mumma’ thing (which I always thought was ‘attachment parenting’ until a friend of mine told me otherwise… Still don’t understand the term crunchy either?)

Anyway.

I’m not understanding why people feel the need to label their parenting? I had always thought (and went with) what ever works best for you and your baby, do it.
If breastfeeding works out well for you then great! If for some reason you are unable or it doesn’t suit your lifestyle so you end up formula feeding, no worries.
Maybe your baby has always been great at self settling or maybe you need to feed/rock your baby to sleep?
You might love to co-sleep with your child for many reasons… or you might like the space at night and pop them in their own room.
Why must it be that by doing any of these things means you have been boxed into some sort of ‘parenting style’ or labeled in some way??

We have been put into the ‘natural parenting’ or ‘crunchy granola’ style simply because I’m feeding my baby and she’s over 1, we co-sleep (because my little girl is a horrible sleeper so this is the only way I can get any winks at night), I’m a ‘baby wearer’ as prams are just annoying and Ivy hates them, etc. etc. etc. So what?
But I DO immunise my child, I DID NOT eat my placenta, I’m happy to give Ivy panadol when she is sick or in pain, and I am very much planning on sending my children to school because homeschooling would send me insane… So now what? What kind of parent am I?

All these parenting styles have started making a lot of parents feel like crap and I’m over it! I was following a page on facebook that was all about natural parenting (which I have now unfollowed) and half of their posts made me feel like a failure of a parent just because I didn’t do everything the ‘natural way’. Even though what I was doing felt natural, right and good to me.
And on the flip side, you can be made to feel like a nutter for continuing to breastfeed past 12 months or for co-sleeping with your child… “you obviously don’t have a sex life” and “you’ll never get your bed back” were a few of the things said to me because we do this… Ping off! I’m doing what I want and what’s best for us.

Sometimes I feel like some of these parents have simply opened up a book, taken down all the points and are following it all to a tee weather it works or not just so they can be like “Oh yeah, I’m a natural parent. OMG you feed your child formula? Do you REALIZE they’re not getting the best start to life? I still breast feed my 20 year old and they’re studying environmental law.”
OR
“You immunise your children? Did you know that they now have a higher chance of being an intravenous drug user?!”
Seriously??
Anyway, your child was born an individual so why box your parenting? Just doesn’t make sense.

I know this post might possibly ruffle a few feathers but please know my heart and that I am being a tad sarcastic (if you couldn’t tell). I just don’t see why we have to make parenting harder on each other when it’s pretty hard already and we can be hard enough on ourselves without others making us feel like crappy parents too.

A good friend of mine recently spoke about this very topic in her daily vlog on youtube after her and I had been talking about it that day. Check it out. She makes some great points!

Love you all xx

 

P.S. This is ACTUALLY what crunchy granola is… looks yum
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9 Things I Was Never Told Before Becoming A Mum

When we announced our pregnancy to friends and family all of a sudden I had advice, tips and stories coming at me left, right and centre. It was overwhelming, I didn’t like it.¬†But in amongst all of it, they missed telling me SO many things. A lot of which I think are pretty important things. I won’t go into it too much but here are a few things that I have learnt and would like any expecting parent to know…

1. You WILL (most likely, unless you don’t care about your sanity) become one of those parents that hangs with mainly other parents. Your life becomes so revolved around routines, feeding, sleeping, feeding, sleeping!! Childless people generally don’t understand just how important it is to be at home for bubbas nap time/bed time, that all you want to talk about now is your child, and that 7pm is now a VERY reasonable bed time for you. Other parents get it, so it’s just easier that way.

2. You are no longer up-to-date of the happenings in the world. Unless it’s on ABC kids or in a children’s book, you’re most likely not going to know about it, until you have one of those random meet ups with your childless friends (and then they’ll give you one of those looks of like ‘Whaaaat? Where have you been’)

3. Sitting down to a civilised meal is a thing of the past. In the early days one parent will eat (very very quickly) while the other is bouncing, rocking, or swinging then SWAP! As time goes on, it will become a time of food on the floor and in your hair. Prepare yourself for food wastage.

4. Car trips become a major thing. No longer can you just ‘pop down to the shops’ or plan¬†spontaneous¬†road trips to the beach. No no no, everything now needs to be planned in advance. You have to organise all things around those naps and feeding times. There are always many things to pack… Some things are needed, some things are ‘just in case’. Car seats are just annoying! (Heaven forbid the days where hubby takes the car to work that has the car seat in it!!) A quick 10 minute trip to the shops will now take you approximately half an hour or more.

5. You will pick up awesome ninja skills. Being quiet while baby sleeps is a MUST. After bubba is asleep and you’re leaving the room, you’ll come to learn that squeaky¬†floor boards are your worst enemy but as time goes on you will learn where those squeaky spots are and you will¬†manoeuvre¬†around the room like no bodies business. If you co-sleep, sliding out of bed to pee in the middle of the night becomes an art form.

6. NO ONE told me about the ‘mummy wars’. It’s a thing and it’s quite possibly the dumbest thing ever. Mothers compare¬†themselves to each other… who is a better parent, whose¬†child is more well behaved, who has a nicer/cleaner home, who breastfed or bottle fed? Pretty much all things relating to parenting/motherhood are judged… by OTHER MUMS! Not sure why¬†it happens but it does and it’s dumb.

7. If you want to have a sex life at all, you have to improvise. That means that when there is an appropriate time, you do it. No matter where you are or time of day. Make it work. Showers become a shared time…

8. Your relationship with your partner will change. Good and bad but mostly good. You will love your partner like never before, respect and¬†appreciate¬†them like never before. You will also dislike them like never before. When you’ve both had a bad night sleep and baby decides to wake at 2am and not settle back to sleep, you will turn on each other and it won’t be pretty but I will give you a tip… You need to agree that anything that is said between the hours of 11pm and 5am must be easily forgiven. This will help save your relationship.

9. Lastly you’re not going to care about anything that I have said previously. Yes your life is going to change¬†DRAMATICALLY¬†and some people might think it’s lame you don’t go out as much anymore and that you’re quite constantly tired but none of it matters because you now have the greatest gift in the world. I cannot explain how it feels or the love that you are going to experience but it is amazing and there is nothing like it. I’m sure you have heard this one thousand times and you’re going to hear it one thousand more, yet you cannot comprehend just how incredible it is until you have a child of your own. Sometimes you will just be sitting, watching your child play and another wave of loving emotions will over come you and you just wont know how to express it! Everything inside of you wants to explode because your child is the cutest and most incredible thing that ever lived. They’re just so YUMMY!!

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